The Unedited...

We haven't been posting for a while because we've been touring the universe in a hot air balloon powered by jazz and there's no internet on one side of my room. Recently I browsed through my gmail spambox and found a great Nigerian scam email. It isn't from Nigeria (an innovation I appreciate - very clever you scammers). The best part of it, other than the awkward english, is the super heavy christianity. Boy it's thick! Enjoy!


From Mrs Naomi Solomon

No[204 Rue Des Martyrs Cocody
Abidjan, Cote d'Ivoire

ATTN:
DEAREST ONE OF GOD

I am the above named person from Kuwait . I am married to Mr Anthony Solomon who worked with Kuwait embassy in Ivory Coast for nine years before he died in the year 2004. We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days.Before his death we were both born again Christian. Since his death I decided not to remarry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $2. 5 Million (Two Million Five Hundred U.S. Dollars) in the bank here in Abidjan in suspense account.

Presently, the fund is still with the bank. Recently, my Doctor told me that i have serious sickness which is cancer problem. The one that disturbs me most is my stroke sickness. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a church or individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein. I want a church that will use this fund for orphanages, widows, propagating the word of God and to endeavour that the house of God is maintained.

The Bible made us to understand that blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I don’t have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don’t want my husband efforts to be used by unbelievers. I don’t want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way. This is why I am taking this decision. I am not afraid of death hence i know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the Lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace.

I don't need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health hence the presence of my husband relatives is around me always I don't want them to know about this development. With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the bank here in Abidjan . I want you and the church to always pray for me because the Lord is my shepherd. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and Truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life.

Contact me on the above e-mail address for more information, any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing another church or individual for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein. Hoping to receive your reply.
Remain blessed in the Lord.

Yours in Chris
Mrs Naomi Solomon.



Go with Chris bra.

Sarah Palin delivers!

Alright, this a hypothetical situation assuming McCain still has a decent chance of sweeping the electoral vote.

Fast forward to October 2010. Its a beautiful day in the capital. The manicured lawns of the White House are filled with boisterous laughter of the Palin family. The children and grandchildren of the hockey- mom- turned President are playing with their new paintball guns gifted to them by their loving uncles in the NRA. Two year old (name-not-known) Palin is taking severe punishment from the other kids owed partially to his tryst with Trisomy 21. The gentle October breeze ruffles their hair, rustles the leaves and birds sing tiny notes lending the whole picture an embodiment of human joy.

Exactly six months ago McCains timely death form an idiopathic medical condition of his left cheek put Palin in the White House and in charge of the well being of unamused, 300 million plus American citizenry.

So far, she has failed them in all accounts. She went back on her promise of preparing home made meals for the National Guard. Funding was re-routed from schools to building sound infrastructure for Hockey stadiums. Alaskan Moose have been breeding non-stop for fear of extinction thus overtaking the human population there by a humongous margin and spilling on to neighboring Canada. Gas and condoms have been rationed for different reasons altogather. In general, the picture is overcast with gloom and dismay in contrast with the mood in the Presidential lawns.

Yet, the heading of this post reads "Sarah Palin delivers!" So do the headlines of the day in the NY Post and Washington Times.

Unbeknownst to the average American Palin HAS delivered - yet another baby that is. With a single stroke of rythimic pelvic contraction Palin has delivered more happiness and joy to the unsaitiable Conservative Right.