So apparently the merchants of sugary goodness want to reward us for giving consent to the process that will appoint our next Lord and Master. On November 4th just step into a Krispy Kreme for a free doughnut and wash it down with a free scoop of ice cream from Ben and Jerry's. How many of these places can there be in NYC? I think the real question is how long can I ride the train for free doughnuts and ice cream without my insulin. Click these links if you aren't yet blind from adult onset diabetes.
Ben and Jerry Want You!
Free Doughnut with Purchase of Vote
Wednesday
Sicko ( When NOT single)
Pic: Febrile boyfriend gets tended to by his still healthy girlfriend
Falling sick can be depressing and frustrating especially when you are living alone. With the Flu going around, humans of both sexes need to take some pre-emptive measures which can turn this not so enjoyable experience into an immensely blissful one.
I have fallen sick many times(well not that many)in the past but I found myself alone and vulnerable. Not anymore! Here are a few tips that will change your febrile life forever:
Get a girlfriend. Yes. I can't stress on this point more. When women see that you're not well, they are overcome with empathy which is a natural response, thanks in part to their hormones. They will do a lot of things if not everything in their will to make you feel better. Here's what I got for falling sick: Breakfast in bed served with hot tea, Lunch in bed served with more hot tea and medication and Supper in bed served with some more hot tea and dessert. All I did was stay sick and be in bed!
But that's not all. The pot keeps sweetening and girlfriend keeps giving, contingent upon how you manage to detiorate your condition further either genuinely or by feigning more sickness. This step will open your hitherto single and lonely life compounded by bad health care policies and health insurance vermin to "Hotel TLC".
Once you enter this stage of sickness there's no looking back. In addition to the aforementioned Meals-in-bed routine you automatically qualify for added benefits which would make anyone with a gold card membership turn green with envy: Massage(Back or Full Body), Extra Heat in the room, Wet towel, Blow dry hair, coupled with intermittent making out sessions to list a few.
Neither of Obama's or McPain's health care policies include these added benefits because this post is far ahead of its times but there's hope. I strongly suggest readers to think ahead and prepare themselves for 2012. Who knows, if vouched for by good numbers, they may include a $ 1099.99 FYAG (Find yourself a girlfriend) check in your health care.
Saturday
Zombies A JOE-JOE
Halloween is upon us and no matter how much Joe despises zombies when you leave him in front of his laptop too long he inevitably becomes one. This is what you get.
Sunday
A poem. By: Me.
North Carolina Susurrus
Rodents rustle-scuffle and play my neighbors jazz snare.
Singing, far-off cries of cargo trains and
The Atlantic's distant murmur.
Wind whistling Dixie. Play the cotton dance while
Crickets fiddle in tobacco barns for bullfrog croaks to
The syncopated spatter of tin-roof rain.
A mountain midnight's shuddering branch
Speaks silently, with fiery tongues,
Of warmth and gray smoke; snap crack.
House key strides carry hurried jingles,
While rubber mutters on moist pavement.
Voltage hums and ripples in mid-day humid air.
A broken dollar silver-copper-tinkle
Heard over motorcar combustion growl.
Inhale, exhale softly, softly, sing.
Notes in the honeysuckle lull.
Moments unobserved, almost unheard.
---
If you like this poem please vote for it HERE.
Rodents rustle-scuffle and play my neighbors jazz snare.
Singing, far-off cries of cargo trains and
The Atlantic's distant murmur.
Wind whistling Dixie. Play the cotton dance while
Crickets fiddle in tobacco barns for bullfrog croaks to
The syncopated spatter of tin-roof rain.
A mountain midnight's shuddering branch
Speaks silently, with fiery tongues,
Of warmth and gray smoke; snap crack.
House key strides carry hurried jingles,
While rubber mutters on moist pavement.
Voltage hums and ripples in mid-day humid air.
A broken dollar silver-copper-tinkle
Heard over motorcar combustion growl.
Inhale, exhale softly, softly, sing.
Notes in the honeysuckle lull.
Moments unobserved, almost unheard.
---
If you like this poem please vote for it HERE.
Saturday
A Touch of Metal
REVIEW:
The Ghost of Always - Self-titled; 2008 Tintiltin Records
The Ghost Of Always delights with rapid fire rhythms and driving melodies. With songs ranging from darkly brooding ballads to futuristic rock epics their third installment delivers. This album rocks!
The Ghost of Always - Self-titled; 2008 Tintiltin Records
The Ghost Of Always delights with rapid fire rhythms and driving melodies. With songs ranging from darkly brooding ballads to futuristic rock epics their third installment delivers. This album rocks!
Friday
Robots on Welfare?
Artificial Conversational Entities: Can A Machine Act Human and Be Given 'Rights'?
http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/260768
A fascinating article about artificial intelligence including a discussion of everyone's favorite gauge of humanity, the Turing Test!
Pictured below is the Battlefield Extraction and Retrieval (BEAR) Robot. They gave it funny little ears to make it less piss-your-pants terrifying. I imagine a wounded soldier is already emotionally vulnerable and I'm sure the shock of getting hoisted by a robot straight out of Terminator 2 is significant. Good thing it looks vaguely like a teddy bear. That's not even more terrifying and perverse.
More information about the BEAR can be found here.
http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/260768
A fascinating article about artificial intelligence including a discussion of everyone's favorite gauge of humanity, the Turing Test!
Pictured below is the Battlefield Extraction and Retrieval (BEAR) Robot. They gave it funny little ears to make it less piss-your-pants terrifying. I imagine a wounded soldier is already emotionally vulnerable and I'm sure the shock of getting hoisted by a robot straight out of Terminator 2 is significant. Good thing it looks vaguely like a teddy bear. That's not even more terrifying and perverse.
More information about the BEAR can be found here.
Sunday
Succulent Chipotle Pork
It's been so long since we last talked! Well, I made you something delicious:
My friend Mrs. Cumberbatch gave us some boneless pork loin because she doesn't eat meat. I used the pork, some leftover beef liver, and two chipotle seasoning cubes to make a simple meal that tastes like it costs 45$ in Manhattan (not including the other courses).
First, I cut the pork, still frozen, into thin slices about a quarter of an inch thick. Thats about as thick as a standard stereo patch cord. It's important that it's frozen, because that will keep the meat very tender when it's being cooked. The actual cooking technique is similar to stir frying in that the meat is cooked very quickly, but the heat does not have to be extremely high.
I warmed up the skillet with a layer of oil with a medium flame and threw some liver in it when it's hot enough. I let the liver sizzle for a bit, it's not there to be eaten, it's there for flavor, so not so much. Wait a moment...
...
...ok, I put the sliced pork loin on the skillet (it's still mostly frozen). I broke up a chipotle flavor cube or two on them, I added some hot oil because I made some already. After a minute or so when the side touching the skillet stops being red and starts being cooked, they got flipped. When the pan filled up with juice, I turned up the heat a little bit. The insides are still a little pink (not too much though, it shouldn't be a problem if the pieces are thinly sliced enough), and juicy, and delicious. I even deglazed the pan with a splash of water and poured it, still boiling, on top of the sliced pork.
I know you aren't with me now to enjoy this meal, but I wish you were...
My friend Mrs. Cumberbatch gave us some boneless pork loin because she doesn't eat meat. I used the pork, some leftover beef liver, and two chipotle seasoning cubes to make a simple meal that tastes like it costs 45$ in Manhattan (not including the other courses).
First, I cut the pork, still frozen, into thin slices about a quarter of an inch thick. Thats about as thick as a standard stereo patch cord. It's important that it's frozen, because that will keep the meat very tender when it's being cooked. The actual cooking technique is similar to stir frying in that the meat is cooked very quickly, but the heat does not have to be extremely high.
I warmed up the skillet with a layer of oil with a medium flame and threw some liver in it when it's hot enough. I let the liver sizzle for a bit, it's not there to be eaten, it's there for flavor, so not so much. Wait a moment...
...
...ok, I put the sliced pork loin on the skillet (it's still mostly frozen). I broke up a chipotle flavor cube or two on them, I added some hot oil because I made some already. After a minute or so when the side touching the skillet stops being red and starts being cooked, they got flipped. When the pan filled up with juice, I turned up the heat a little bit. The insides are still a little pink (not too much though, it shouldn't be a problem if the pieces are thinly sliced enough), and juicy, and delicious. I even deglazed the pan with a splash of water and poured it, still boiling, on top of the sliced pork.
I know you aren't with me now to enjoy this meal, but I wish you were...
Burning hot chili oil
Good hot oil is indispensable for cooking spicy food. A little bit of hot oil can turn up the heat, and a lot of hot oil will teach people not to steal your cooking. I used a combination of red chilies and scotch bonnets, probably a cup and a half in all, and finely diced them then put them in a cup of high heat oil, then turned the heat up until the pepper bits began to fry. I let them fry until they were almost burnt, but not quite, then turned off the heat.
When I packed it up I threw a couple of fresh chili peppers in the oil to make it look nicer. This oil is fucking hot, a few drops in any dish will make it quite spicy without changing the flavor much. A spoonful is enough for a big (like a gallon size) pot of stew, two spoonfuls to really light it up. Three spoonfuls will cure the flu. Half a cup causes psychedelic visions of possible futures, though, not necessarily of the most likely future time-line. I certainly wouldn't make any important decisions based on visions resulting from eating this hot oil.
When I packed it up I threw a couple of fresh chili peppers in the oil to make it look nicer. This oil is fucking hot, a few drops in any dish will make it quite spicy without changing the flavor much. A spoonful is enough for a big (like a gallon size) pot of stew, two spoonfuls to really light it up. Three spoonfuls will cure the flu. Half a cup causes psychedelic visions of possible futures, though, not necessarily of the most likely future time-line. I certainly wouldn't make any important decisions based on visions resulting from eating this hot oil.
Thursday
America is Hungry!
The Veep Debates are chock full o' gustatory metaphors regarding the American people
Palin: Americans are hungry for... hungry for...
Biden even talked about Americans stomaches
ALSO:
mav·er·ick /ˈmævərɪk, ˈmævrɪk/ [mav-er-ik, mav-rik]
–noun
1. Southwestern U.S. an unbranded calf, cow, or steer, esp. an unbranded calf that is separated from its mother.
2. a lone dissenter, as an intellectual, an artist, or a politician, who takes an independent stand apart from his or her associates.
3. (initial capital letter) an electro-optically guided U.S. air-to-ground tactical missile for destroying tanks and other hardened targets at ranges up to 15 mi. (24 km).
[Origin: 1865–70, Americanism; after Samuel A. Maverick (1803–70), Texas pioneer who left his calves unbranded]
—Synonyms 2. nonconformist, independent, loner.
So in order to absorb the spectacle only second hand I'm looking up homebrewing supplies.
Here's a list of suppliers:
Austin Homebrew
Midwest Supplies
Northern Brewer
Palin: Americans are hungry for... hungry for...
Biden even talked about Americans stomaches
ALSO:
mav·er·ick /ˈmævərɪk, ˈmævrɪk/ [mav-er-ik, mav-rik]
–noun
1. Southwestern U.S. an unbranded calf, cow, or steer, esp. an unbranded calf that is separated from its mother.
2. a lone dissenter, as an intellectual, an artist, or a politician, who takes an independent stand apart from his or her associates.
3. (initial capital letter) an electro-optically guided U.S. air-to-ground tactical missile for destroying tanks and other hardened targets at ranges up to 15 mi. (24 km).
[Origin: 1865–70, Americanism; after Samuel A. Maverick (1803–70), Texas pioneer who left his calves unbranded]
—Synonyms 2. nonconformist, independent, loner.
So in order to absorb the spectacle only second hand I'm looking up homebrewing supplies.
Here's a list of suppliers:
Austin Homebrew
Midwest Supplies
Northern Brewer
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